I recently wondered why I'm trying to lose weight. I was reading a book by the Dalai Lama, who advises "Be constantly analyzing your motivations." So I thought about my motivation to drop about 20 pounds.

Is it because society has told me that a 19-year-old, 5'4" woman should look a certain way? Is it because I want to perpetuate this image?
Is it for health reasons?
Do I think it will make me happy?
Is it a superficial goal?

This was bothering me immensely. Nowhere in those questions could I find an answer that lined up with my Buddhist-derived beliefs. What I found was that I was desiring my body to be something that it was not, and thus causing myself suffering. The logical answer would be to cease the desire, but I rebelled against that because there must be a nonsuperficial reason that I want to drop the weight.

So, after much thoughtful meditation/meditative thoughtfulness, I revealed to myself an answer: physical karma.

For karma, every action having a consequence, cannot be limited purely to the spirit and the cycle of incarnation. When I choose to eat that hot fudge sundae, I will later see the results. When I choose to lounge around the house instead of exercise my body, I will later see the results. The body I have now is a result of poor karmic choices.

In order to reverse the poor karma, I must reverse my habits. Unfortunately I live in a society which does not allow that easily; I cannot walk to work nor school nor grocery store. I am inundated with advertisements for products to make life easier, to put less effort into my daily activities. My society is obsessed with instant gratification and independent free will to make bad choices.

I have changed my habits. I no longer eat at fast food restaurants, and can honestly say that I no longer have the desire to do so. I track my calories both on paper and in my mind to prevent overindulgence. I have learned to cook rather well, using as many organic and fresh ingredients as possible, cutting fat and calories wherever applicable. I gently remind myself that sitting on the couch watching The Simpsons will not bring me future karmic happiness, nor is it bringing me current happiness; I am idly entertaining the lowest level of my mind. I joined a gym and am slowly changing my habits to include a minimum of two trips to the gym per week.

I also plan to gradually change my habits in general to include less idle activity (with the exceptions of things that truly calm my soul, like writing and painting) and more active activitiy. I wish to waste less time and increase my physical, mental, and spiritual productivity.

I am a planner, so thinking about the future results of my current actions is not altogether difficult for me. However, my mind does challenge me at times. I desire to have fun, and I desire to live in the moment. If I'm at a concert or another social gathering and things are really starting to wind up, my mind argues: forget about your damn karma for a second and just have fun, just dance, just BE.

We are forever self-damning and self-liberating. In that way, each action is important.

The Dalai Lama says: If you are going to be selfish, be wisely selfish. If you can find no other reason to perform a good deed, do it for your own karmic benefit.

Well, I have to say that Zaadz kinda messed up on this one. After asking "What's the best job in the world?" the question is qualified with the words "most noble" and "admirable."

My first honest reaction to the question was "travel journalist." This would be the best job in the world, meaning that of all jobs out there, it's the one that I would most like to have. I've sacrificed the desire to hold this job because I desire more to get married and have a family, and I'm happy with my decision.

Other jobs that I've admired or wished I could have in the past have mostly been along the lines of dolphin trainer, although not limited to that particular animal. I've also looked with wide eyes of wonder at those unusual jobs that make me wonder, "What did he/she have to major in in college to get that job?" Such as being a successful fantasy author. Or a professional Safari man.

Those are the simple answers that don't really require much deeper thought. They're fine for normal conversation, but on Zaadz I feel somehow compelled to provide a more profound response.

Sure, being a travel journalist would probably be the coolest thing I could imagine doing, but I don't really think it ranks up there with "admirable" and "noble." When I see the word "noble," my first thought is of His Holiness the Dalai Lama. I'm not sure being the Dalai Lama counts as a job, though.

The closest thing I can think of is priesthood, reverendship, what have you. What's more noble than seeking one's own truth and working to share it with other truth-seekers?

Of course, I have an interesting interpretation of priesthood, being a Unitarian Universalist as I am. Our ministers aren't there to interpret the Word of God in some sort of holy scripture, nor to expound upon the rules contained within. They're more there to interpret and examine spirituality in everyday life and in current events, and to encourage us to do the same. They're our go-to guys and gals when we're facing some sort of existential quandry, moral dilemma, or extremely emotional situation. They'll tell us what they think, tell us to ask others, and most importantly, tell us to look within ourselves to find our own truth.

That said, I do have respect for ministers of any faith. Even Christianity, which I've come to regard in a more negative light. It takes a lot to be a minister, a good minister, someone who can interpret and teach spirituality in any one of its many forms, and be a counselor and a friend. Even if a minister preaches a creed or faith with which I am in disagreement, I respect everything that person has gone through in order to attain priesethood, and I respect his or her good intentions and efforts to be a presence of relief and aid in other people's lives.